Below are things that have me concerned about leaving my life in Senegal (aka things Senegalese culture is making me do or the type of person I'm changing into):
1) I might start asking everything in the negative form. “You don’t have a pencil I can borrow, do you?”
2) I might have the urge to walk to the Post every week, because I wouldn’t trust them to deliver directly to my door.
3) I might be confused as to why I have so much leg room on my flight home.
4) I might believe that wearing makeup is pointless and time consuming (both application and removal), but then go overboard on holidays.
5) I may continue to shower 3 times a day.
6) I might take afternoon naps, regardless of whether or not I’m supposed to be working.
7) I might correct people’s English mid sentence.
8) I might be prone to hiding beef jerky in my dresser.
9) I may start beeping people (calling and hanging up before they answer, and expecting them to call me back) to save credit- or minutes.
10) I might continue to apply sun block daily like moisturizer.
11) I might walk into a room and comment on whatever you’re doing. Example: “Peace be with you. You are sitting.”
12) I might get pissed and start swearing, but not realize that you can understand my swear words because you DO speak English.
13) I may ask your child to go to the store and buy me something.
14) I might wear flip flops in the shower.
15) I might serve you dessert (instead of a real dinner) if you come over for dinner on a Sunday.
16) I might dance without moving my feet- just knees, hips, and arms.
17) I might call you racist if you don’t say “hello” to me on the street.
18) I might dress my best to go on a road trip.
19) I might carry a water bottle around obsessively. And drink mix packets, too.
20) I may sweep my room daily; carpet or no.
21) I may have to buy an oscillating fan in order to sleep.
22) I might go to the grocery store every day because processed and packaged foods won’t make sense to me. Buying in bulk won’t either.
23) I may carry anti-diarrhea meds and malaria prophylaxis in my purse at all times.
24) I might use a mosquito net as decoration, but also obsessively tuck it in before going to bed.
25) I might take an hour to order a beer, because there are more than 2 types available. And my favorite one won’t be there.
26) I may be pissed there isn’t a flashlight function on the end of my phone.
27) I might eat rice every day for lunch.
28) I may say things in a language you won’t understand.
29) I might miss spell every word in the English language.
30) I may bring you fruit if I leave town and come back.
31) I might be confused if on holidays we do more than sit in chairs staring at the ground.
32) I may offer to help pay for the rented sound system for your child’s baptism.
33) I may play my music 20 decibels too loud.
34) I might be confused if the rooster crows only at dawn.
35) I might never use a dryer again.
36) I might not buy a TV, because the screen would be too big for my eyes. And also because my computer will travel with me.
37) I might miss bissap, tamarin, and bouie juices.
38) I might be addicted to MSG.
39) I may blatantly lie about why I didn’t call you back because I’ll think you can’t dispute me.
40) I might be fashionably late to everything.
41) I may be uncomfortable using toilet paper.
42) I might make a clucking noise in the place of verbal agreement or nodding.
43) I may spend ten minutes restating something someone else has already said, because I agree with them.
44) I might try to negotiate prices at the grocery store, or maybe even Target. Definitely with cabs.
45) I might not notice when flies land on me.
46) I may stop to talk to complete strangers for long periods of time on the street.
47) I might not realize someone is hitting on me if they aren’t asking me to marry them within the first 5 minutes of conversation.
48) I might look around for the screwdriver in order to roll down the car window.
49) I may tickle your palm with my finger secretly during a hand shake to indicate wanting to sleep with you.
50) I might be deathly afraid of the rain.
51) I might dig a hole in order to bury the carcass if you tell me we are eating a large game animal for a meal.
52) I may put up post it notes of vocabulary in multiple languages.
53) I might burn my trash.
54) I might use the same piece of cloth for a sheet, robe, towel, blanket or skirt.
55) I may be overly paranoid when someone gets a fever.
56) I might think a spaghetti sandwich is normal.
57) I might not respond to my American name.
58) I might expect to be able to shop during traffic jams… and be upset when I can’t.
59) I may comment about the weather in every conversation.
60) I might wear a belly chain with beads because I’ll think it’s sexy.
61) I may call you just to say “Hello.” And then just hang up after without saying goodbye.
62) I may treat every meal like an eating contest to see who can finish first. I will not speak during this contest.
63) I may filter my water forevermore.
64) I may eat an unhealthy amount of mangos.
65) I might not hate children as much as I did when I left. Or I might hate them more. It’s still unclear.
66) I might be used to the sound of children getting beaten and therefore get rejected when applying for a job at child protective services.
67) I might beat your kids if they don’t greet me.
68) I might have to buy a whole new wardrobe, as I’m sure nothing will fit anymore.
69) I might not be deathly afraid of mice.
70) I may appreciate that lizards eat all the other bugs I hate.
71) I may come to believe that climate control in a motor vehicle means ability to roll down the window.
72) I may hang curtains in the back seats of my next car, in order to keep out the sun and heat.
73) I may think that stickers of old men I don’t know are a valuable art form that should be displayed both in the house and all over my car.
74) I might be confused when the next election happens promptly and there are legitimate opposing candidates to the current president.
75) I might wear what you will assume to be my pajamas in public.
76) I might prefer large bulky metal jewelry that incorporates the shape of balls.
77) I may ask everyone I meet if they have a husband/ wife- and if not offer to set them up.
78) I might forget the meaning of personal space.
79) I may confuse a gay couple for brothers or sisters, because I might forget that gay is an actual preference and not something that “DOES NOT EXIST.”
80) I might repeat your last name 5 to 10 times when I see you because I think it is a sign of respect.
81) I may secretly text someone else if I decide to spend the night anywhere other than my house; and I will think it’s for my own safety.
82) I may expect to hear about public demonstrations and riots throughout the country via text message.
83) I might be confused if, when asked how you are. you reply with anything other than “I’m here” or “I’m in peace only.”
84) I may add an insane amount of sugar to my coffee, tea and juices.
85) I might find a way to add onions to every meal.
86) I might obsessively keep notes on blog ideas.
87) I might complain that US currency is not color and size coded.
88) I may tell you that you know nothing if you do not understand something I try to explain.
89) I may be nervous and panicked when left alone.
90) I may likely change all my cloths regardless of who is in the room, and without closing the door.
91) I might try to order café Touba (which tastes like a mixture of chai tea and coffee) at Starbucks.
92) I may complain that there is a serious lack of decent tailors.
93) I might assume that although you live near water, you have no idea how to swim.
94) I may sit on the floor when you have me over and tell me dinner is ready.
95) I might leave my shoes on when entering the house, but take them off when entering the sitting room.
96) I might be depressed when the power goes out, assuming I won’t be able to sleep at night.
97) I might have a stock pile of candles and matches, because I assume the power will go out.
98) I might take time off of work to celebrate holidays according to other religions.
99) I might be disappointed that I can’t go to church to listen to good music and tune out the rest.
100) I might miss Senegal.
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